Monday, April 11, 2011

To Do #1: Stop Apologizing (an explanation)

"She's bent over from the business of begging forgiveness, while frantically running around putting out fires" (Ani Difranco).
That’s me. All day.  Every day.  I run around like a crazy lady trying to keep up with the hey-mommies and the hey-honeys. I do this while simultaneously trying to stay one step ahead of the laundry and dishes. Every day I fail. I try...and I fail. And every day I apologize over and over for my failures. 
“I’m sorry, Honey, I forgot to call the counter guy…again.”
“I’m sorry, Buddy Boy, I didn’t make it to the bike store to get your new tire.”
“I’m sorry Ladybug, I haven’t had a chance to sew your bear back together.”
I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry…. UGH! Every time I say it I feel worse and worse about myself.  "I'm sorry".  It's become my mantra…my sick and twisted mantra.
Mantra [man-truh] -noun Hinduism,
A sound, syllable, word or group of words considered capable of ‘creating transformation’.
Every time I make one of these little apologies, what I’m really saying is, “I’m sorry. I know. I suck.” Saying this dozens of times a day, to myself and my family is definitely transforming me…into someone who sucks. So, I’m not going to do it anymore. I’m not going to tell myself I suck because I forgot to put the towels in the drier. I’m just going to pull a clean towel out of the linen closet. It’ll get the job done – even if it doesn’t match my current bathroom décor. Instead of beating myself down, I’m going to remember and celebrate why the towels slipped my mind in the first place – because I was having too much fun with my little Ladybug and her new Playdough ice cream parlor set. I think that’s a darn good reason for forgetting the laundry. I don’t think I need to apologize for it. I’m not going to put myself on a guilt trip every time something slips through the cracks because I opted to do something fun for my family – or for myself. So that's it!  No more!  I'm done apologizing. Well…OK, one more apology...

To my family:  I’m sorry that lately I’ve spent more time beating myself up over the little things than I’ve spent having fun with you.  And that really does suck.

Next up:
To Do #2: Start Saying Thank You…


AlyGatr said...

Aw, you don't suck! It's hard to concentrate on all the things you do when you concentrate so hard on the things you don't do. That said, I find myself constantly I guess your lesson goes for both of us.

Oh and YAYYY...I was so happy to see you posted!

Almost Precious said...

I like this, it's a wonderful idea and a great way to put things into perspective.